I'm kind of lost. I quit my high paying job more than one year ago with the intention of creating something of our own with my brother. Even though I knew I was going to be without pay for a long time, I spent a large amount of money preparing for that, buying a nice computer, all of the necessary software, and even furniture.

I had to return my apartment, and live (or take refuge) at friends' places ever since. I've been patiently waiting for my brother to quit his job. I followed him to this country because I thought this was it, we were finally going to start up something. He help me set up "for the time being" with a low paying but good willish job with one of his friends, and now he tells me he's leaving this country?

He's leaving this Sunday, and yesterday in the afternoon he called me to meet. As usual, I went to his place, had a smoke and then he said that he had to meet some friends for snooker and if I wanted to join. Since he said he wanted to see me again before he leaves, I thought it'd be too cold to just leave after just 30 minutes, so went with him to his snooker appointment.

He starts to play, people start to arrive (all of them complete strangers to me)... and then in the middle of the game he receives a phone call and quits the game, leaving me to play in his place. This doesn't make sense. I don't even remember him saying good-bye, he just asked me to take his place in the game and left.

Oh, and did I mention that I didn't get to use my computer nor the furniture nor anything during the time since I quit my job? Oh, and one more detail, he hasn't quit his job either, even though in the year 2001 he was saying that March 2002 was his limit. We're already in the second half of 2003.

I don't know, sometimes he seems to be very thoughtful, some other times it looks like it doesn't matter to him. I've always kept my part of the deal, while he keeps on changing... with good reasons, but changing nevertheless. I honestly cannot remember one single thing I might have told him I'd do for him and then I didn't keep my word.